The Original Techie Gospel - Genesis

In the beginning was the Stage, and the Stage with without lights or set, and darkness was on the face of the actors. And the TD said, "Let there be lights!" And the techies worked and wired, and there were lights. Spotlights and specials, areas and back lighting, yea, lights of all shapes, sizes, and hues. And the TD saw the lights, that they were well aimed and focused, gelled according to the scene, and no more was darkness on the faces of the actors, and it was good. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

And the TD looked upon the actors, and saw that although they walked in light, they did walk on a bare stage, and had no place to be, and was moved to pity. And the TD said, "Let there be a set!" And the techies scrambled and worked, and there was a set, with platforms, wagons, and flying units, stairs and furniture of various types and sizes, each according to the need. And the actors did walk within the set, and did have a place to be. And the TD saw the set, that it was good, and evening and the morning were the second day.

And the TD saw the actors, that although they did have a place to be, they did look like fools, for they waved their hands, clutched at open air, and struck each other with nothing. And in her heart, the TD was moved to pity for the actors, as who would not be. And the TD said, "Let there be props!" And the techies worked feverishly and did buy and build, and there were props. Yea, swords and books and objects of sundry shape and size. And the actors looked no more like fools, in that they now had things for their hands to do. And the TD saw the props, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the third day.

Once more the TD looked upon the actors, and saw that they did go forth upon the set in blue jeans, and she knew that this would not do. And the TD said, "Let there be costumes!" And the techies did cut and sew and shape, and there were costumes. Each sized to the actor, according to the play, in keeping with the role. And no more did the actors go forth in blue jeans, and the TD saw the costumes, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

And the TD watched the play, and saw that the actors did wait in silence and was moved with pity. And the TD said, "Let there be sound!" And the techies worked and played and taped, and there were sounds. Each according to their place and cue, all at the proper level and tones. and the TD heard the sounds, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

And lo, all these works were completed in five days, showing that if God had used sufficient techies in the first place, he would have finished sooner.
© 1982 Ed Bentley