Lord, let my arms never grow weary of carrying or pulling on ropes. Let my lights always work, and my sounds always be clear. Let my props always be placed, and my set always be prepared. Let me now miss my cues, nor be caught onstage when the lights come up. Keep my hemp always strong and fresh, and my borders always in trim. And when this play of life at last finishes its long run, may the strike be short and swift, and the party be long and joyful.
Amen.
© 1982 Ed Bentley
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The Original Techie Gospel - The Techie Psalm
The TD is my guide, I shall be informed.
She shows where my props must go, and how the stage must be set.
She tells of the setting of the lights, and checks the sounds I prepare.
Yea, though I walk through the darkness of the stage, I shall not fear, for I am a techie and I see in the dark.
My paths are prepared beforehand, the actors get not in my way. The lights stay down until I leave.
Surely I will answer all of my cues at the proper time, and I will dwell backstage forever.
© 1982 Ed Bentley
She shows where my props must go, and how the stage must be set.
She tells of the setting of the lights, and checks the sounds I prepare.
Yea, though I walk through the darkness of the stage, I shall not fear, for I am a techie and I see in the dark.
My paths are prepared beforehand, the actors get not in my way. The lights stay down until I leave.
Surely I will answer all of my cues at the proper time, and I will dwell backstage forever.
© 1982 Ed Bentley
The Original Techie Gospel - Words to the Techie
Remember always that thou art a techie, born to walk the dark places of the stage, and know the secret ways of the equipment. To your hands it is given to mold the dreams and thoughts of they that watch, and to make the stage a separate place and time. Seek not, as the actors, to go forth in the light upon the stage. For though they strut and talk and put on airs, their craft does truly depend on you, to shape the dreams that they would show.
Remember also that although they depend on you, you exist only to aid them. Remember that thou art a team, and that thou shalt party together.
My friends, be not deceived by false deluding actors masquerading as techies. Remember the signs by which you shalt recognize a true techie: they prefer the darkness of the wings to the light of the stage; they move softly during scene changes, not stumbling or falling; they are silent backstage and are aware of what is happening; they can speak with knowledge of tools; they do not tap with a hammer on a nail, but strike with force to drive it; they respect one another's jobs and aid where they can, they do not just stand and watch.
© 1982 Ed Bentley
Remember also that although they depend on you, you exist only to aid them. Remember that thou art a team, and that thou shalt party together.
My friends, be not deceived by false deluding actors masquerading as techies. Remember the signs by which you shalt recognize a true techie: they prefer the darkness of the wings to the light of the stage; they move softly during scene changes, not stumbling or falling; they are silent backstage and are aware of what is happening; they can speak with knowledge of tools; they do not tap with a hammer on a nail, but strike with force to drive it; they respect one another's jobs and aid where they can, they do not just stand and watch.
© 1982 Ed Bentley
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The Original Techie Gospel - Proverbs
Behold, my son, here is wisdom. Pay heed to these words, and in the days of thy play, in the hours of thy performing, thou shalt not be caught short. For truly, it is said, pay heed to the errors of others and you shall not make them yourself, and again, as we have been told from on old, to thine own self be true.
Give not unto an actor his props before their time, for as surely as the sun does rise in the east and set in the west, he shall lose or break them.
When told the placement of props by the director, write not these things in ink upon thy script, for as surely as the winds shall blow, so shall the director change his mind.
Speak not in large words to the actors, for they are slow of thought and easily confused.
Speak not in the language of the techie to the volunteers*, for they are uninitiated, and will not perceive thy meaning.
Tap not on the head of a nail to drive it, but strike it firmly with thy strength.
Keep sacred the Final Cue*, and let not its meaning be known to actors, for truly it is ours to know, and not to be shared with they that walk in the light on the stage.
Keep holy the first performance, for afterwords you shall party.
Keep hold the last performance, for afterwords you shall strike and party.
Remember always that the TD is never wrong. If it appears that she was, they you obviously misunderstood her the first time.
Leave not the area of the stage during the play to go and talk with the actors, for as surely as you do you will be in danger of missing your cue and being six-packed*, or worse.
Beware of actors during scene changes, for they are not like unto you and are blind in the dark.
Always wear black during performances, that you may not be seen by they that watch.
Prepare thy props before the blackout, that you will not have to fumble for them in the dark.
Beware of actors when flying in walls, for they will stand and watch and get crushed.
Take not thy cues before their time, but wait for the proper moment to do so.
Take pity on the actors, for in their roles they are as children, and must be led with gentle kindness. Thus, endeavor to speak softly and not in anger.
Listen carefully to the instructions of the director as to how he wants things done, then do it the right way. In the days of thy performing, he will see thy wisdom, give himself the credit, and rejoice.
And above all, do not go overboard with glow tape, or thy stage will look like an airport.
© 1982 Ed Bentley
* A few notes. Volunteers originally read 107's, which were volunteer students from the "Intro to Drama" class. Final Cue originally read Cue 30, which was a number far beyond the end of the play, and signaled time for the techies to meet for a private celebration. Being "six-packed" meant you had to bring a six pack of drinks to the strike party.
Give not unto an actor his props before their time, for as surely as the sun does rise in the east and set in the west, he shall lose or break them.
When told the placement of props by the director, write not these things in ink upon thy script, for as surely as the winds shall blow, so shall the director change his mind.
Speak not in large words to the actors, for they are slow of thought and easily confused.
Speak not in the language of the techie to the volunteers*, for they are uninitiated, and will not perceive thy meaning.
Tap not on the head of a nail to drive it, but strike it firmly with thy strength.
Keep sacred the Final Cue*, and let not its meaning be known to actors, for truly it is ours to know, and not to be shared with they that walk in the light on the stage.
Keep holy the first performance, for afterwords you shall party.
Keep hold the last performance, for afterwords you shall strike and party.
Remember always that the TD is never wrong. If it appears that she was, they you obviously misunderstood her the first time.
Leave not the area of the stage during the play to go and talk with the actors, for as surely as you do you will be in danger of missing your cue and being six-packed*, or worse.
Beware of actors during scene changes, for they are not like unto you and are blind in the dark.
Always wear black during performances, that you may not be seen by they that watch.
Prepare thy props before the blackout, that you will not have to fumble for them in the dark.
Beware of actors when flying in walls, for they will stand and watch and get crushed.
Take not thy cues before their time, but wait for the proper moment to do so.
Take pity on the actors, for in their roles they are as children, and must be led with gentle kindness. Thus, endeavor to speak softly and not in anger.
Listen carefully to the instructions of the director as to how he wants things done, then do it the right way. In the days of thy performing, he will see thy wisdom, give himself the credit, and rejoice.
And above all, do not go overboard with glow tape, or thy stage will look like an airport.
© 1982 Ed Bentley
* A few notes. Volunteers originally read 107's, which were volunteer students from the "Intro to Drama" class. Final Cue originally read Cue 30, which was a number far beyond the end of the play, and signaled time for the techies to meet for a private celebration. Being "six-packed" meant you had to bring a six pack of drinks to the strike party.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
The Original Techie Gospel - Genesis
In the beginning was the Stage, and the Stage with without lights or set, and darkness was on the face of the actors. And the TD said, "Let there be lights!" And the techies worked and wired, and there were lights. Spotlights and specials, areas and back lighting, yea, lights of all shapes, sizes, and hues. And the TD saw the lights, that they were well aimed and focused, gelled according to the scene, and no more was darkness on the faces of the actors, and it was good. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
And the TD looked upon the actors, and saw that although they walked in light, they did walk on a bare stage, and had no place to be, and was moved to pity. And the TD said, "Let there be a set!" And the techies scrambled and worked, and there was a set, with platforms, wagons, and flying units, stairs and furniture of various types and sizes, each according to the need. And the actors did walk within the set, and did have a place to be. And the TD saw the set, that it was good, and evening and the morning were the second day.
And the TD saw the actors, that although they did have a place to be, they did look like fools, for they waved their hands, clutched at open air, and struck each other with nothing. And in her heart, the TD was moved to pity for the actors, as who would not be. And the TD said, "Let there be props!" And the techies worked feverishly and did buy and build, and there were props. Yea, swords and books and objects of sundry shape and size. And the actors looked no more like fools, in that they now had things for their hands to do. And the TD saw the props, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the third day.
Once more the TD looked upon the actors, and saw that they did go forth upon the set in blue jeans, and she knew that this would not do. And the TD said, "Let there be costumes!" And the techies did cut and sew and shape, and there were costumes. Each sized to the actor, according to the play, in keeping with the role. And no more did the actors go forth in blue jeans, and the TD saw the costumes, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And the TD watched the play, and saw that the actors did wait in silence and was moved with pity. And the TD said, "Let there be sound!" And the techies worked and played and taped, and there were sounds. Each according to their place and cue, all at the proper level and tones. and the TD heard the sounds, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And lo, all these works were completed in five days, showing that if God had used sufficient techies in the first place, he would have finished sooner.
© 1982 Ed Bentley
And the TD looked upon the actors, and saw that although they walked in light, they did walk on a bare stage, and had no place to be, and was moved to pity. And the TD said, "Let there be a set!" And the techies scrambled and worked, and there was a set, with platforms, wagons, and flying units, stairs and furniture of various types and sizes, each according to the need. And the actors did walk within the set, and did have a place to be. And the TD saw the set, that it was good, and evening and the morning were the second day.
And the TD saw the actors, that although they did have a place to be, they did look like fools, for they waved their hands, clutched at open air, and struck each other with nothing. And in her heart, the TD was moved to pity for the actors, as who would not be. And the TD said, "Let there be props!" And the techies worked feverishly and did buy and build, and there were props. Yea, swords and books and objects of sundry shape and size. And the actors looked no more like fools, in that they now had things for their hands to do. And the TD saw the props, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the third day.
Once more the TD looked upon the actors, and saw that they did go forth upon the set in blue jeans, and she knew that this would not do. And the TD said, "Let there be costumes!" And the techies did cut and sew and shape, and there were costumes. Each sized to the actor, according to the play, in keeping with the role. And no more did the actors go forth in blue jeans, and the TD saw the costumes, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And the TD watched the play, and saw that the actors did wait in silence and was moved with pity. And the TD said, "Let there be sound!" And the techies worked and played and taped, and there were sounds. Each according to their place and cue, all at the proper level and tones. and the TD heard the sounds, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And lo, all these works were completed in five days, showing that if God had used sufficient techies in the first place, he would have finished sooner.
© 1982 Ed Bentley
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